new partner

Telling a new partner about diabetes

Hi. This may seem like a silly question, but I want to know how do you tell a new partner that you have diabetes? Or should I say nothing and see how things go between us (I’ve been dating this guy for 6 weeks).” Bongani Nobuhle

Dear Bongani,

It can be a real challenge to tell someone you have diabetes. Sometimes people who do not understand diabetes have bizarre ideas about the condition and may react in an unwanted or hurtful way. Of course, some people will be more open-minded than others.

It’s normal for people with diabetes to worry about what their date will make of their diabetes. So when is the right time to talk about it?

Telling a new partner about your diabetes will be influenced by your personal preference and also by your medication. It’s a good idea to let your partner know about your diabetes early on in your relationship if you are on insulin, or at risk for hypoglycaemia. It will make the first episode of going low or having to inject less of a surprise to him. It is also a good idea to explain your need to inject at a convenient time as some people may feel funny about needles. If you are on oral medication, you could wait longer and see how you go.

When you do decide to tell him, be your brave and bold self. I do believe he has a right to know. If it scares him away, then he wasn’t the one for you. If he doesn’t know what it is about, all your secret long trips to the bathroom to check your sugar and inject insulin might alarm him. What if you can’t get up to go somewhere private to check your blood sugar? You don’t want to sacrifice your health just to keep a secret.

When you do tell him, don’t be a drama queen: just state the facts. Give your partner a chance to take in the news and be patient. Everyone reacts differently and at different speeds. But remember: if he doesn’t support you or take your diabetes seriously, don’t waste your time or his.

– Jeannie Berg, Diabetes Educator