“My son is a Type 1 diabetic, but I don’t want to be overly protective and make him feel he can’t do anything. Do you have any tips for parents of diabetic children, and how to make life normal?’ Sam Shongwe.
The first thing you must realise is that a child with diabetes is still a child. He should not be treated differently than a child who does not have diabetes. Granted, you have more issues to cope with – like good food choices, insulin and testing – but these things shouldn’t stop him from having a normal, happy childhood.
The first thing to do is make sure he is safe at school. Let a responsible person know what his diabetes involves so that they can keep an eye on him. By doing this you won’t have to keep phoning him or the school to make sure he is okay: this will only embarrass him and make him withdraw from friends and fun.
Remember, he can also play sports and take part in physical activities just like any other child: you just need to plan – first talk with his doctor, and then help him with the routine of glucose testing, planned eating, and insulin. Work out a plan that he’s happy and comfortable with.
Encourage your child and allow him to socialise. Let him do parties, sports, sleepovers and camps if he wants to. Discuss a back-up plan with him when he does, but try to let him do his thing.
Most importantly, help your child to become more independent by getting him to take an active part in his diabetes care while he’s still young. Encourage him to solve problems and make choices with you about adjusting insulin doses, for example. Help him create a good lifestyle so that his diabetes doesn’t become too difficult to manage and hijack his life. Self-care is the key to developing any child’s independence and self-esteem: it’s important to get your child involved in self-care as soon as he is able to – with your supervision, of course.
Finally, recognise your limit of control. Accept that you cannot watch over him all the time, stand back and allow him more independence as he becomes more confident and responsible. It’s the same with any child: if they prove their responsibility, they get more independence.
– Jeannie Berg, Diabetes Educator
“My son has just been diagnosed with Type 1 diabetes and we all feel like our world has been turned upside down. But he’s really struggling to talk to us (and his extended family) about his diagnosis. Any tips on how to begin?” Razan Naransamy
When a child is diagnosed with diabetes, both parent and child feel different emotions. In the beginning, parents are inclined to spend time worrying about the physical effects and the day to day management of a condition they don’t yet know anything about. The child goes through different feelings, like sadness and hopelessness, even anger and frustration.
It might help to find someone your son will confide in – even if it’s just to find out why he doesn’t want to talk about his diagnosis. It could be a diabetes nurse he trusts or a psychologist or even a family member or friend. Don’t feel bad about getting help. There are many reasons he might not want to share: he might feel isolated, depressed, afraid or even angry at you. Because you are the one in charge of the tests and shots and the policeman of what he eats or does, it might be easier to blame you. He could even be feeling embarrassed because of the sudden overload of attention.
Helping your child involves acknowledging his feelings and listening to what he says. This communication does not always have to be verbal. Writing or drawing or even making music can get your child to share his feelings.
Encourage him to actively participate in his health care management. Help him to be independent. Once he starts feeling more confident and independent, he will be more likely to share his feelings of living with diabetes. Encourage him to have fun with friends and if he starts going on outings and camps with friends and other children with diabetes he will learn from them that it is okay to talk about it.
- Tell your son that he did nothing to deserve diabetes – it just happens. If he feels that the condition is troublesome for you or your family, reassure him that there’s no reason to feel guilty.
- Remember that children are likely to copy the way that their parents cope with something. Also remember that expecting a child to deal with things quickly and practically isn’t helpful to you or him. You need to set the example.
- Build a support network that you and your family can fall back on. Be informed parents.
- Make the most out of every day.
You and your son are on a lifelong journey with diabetes.
A good journey requires lots of planning, flexibility, curiosity, frequent course corrections, and an occasional attitude adjustment.
Make it a good one.
– Jeannie Berg, Diabetes Educator